MoonzieStar

Sitting here in the middle of the night unable to sleep. It’s times like this that things begin to get dangerous in the mind that is Jaime. I start to reflect on things I’ve said, regrets about things I should have said, or did say that I didn’t mean. Start to worry about tomorrow. Start to doubt today. And it all starts to piss me off. I mean, really, I am a very happy, positive person. But sometimes, I just want to bang my head against a fucking wall.

Right now I am having one of those nights. I was trying to find the perfect song to go along with my thoughts. I went through my typical downward youtube spiral of the good, the bad, and the ugly, but honestly, at the end of the day, there have been few bands that have really helped me through the good and the bad in my life, and NIN is one of them.

For tonights pity party, I have chosen WISH!

this is the first day of my last days
i built it up now i take it apart climbed up real high now fall down real far
no need for me to stay the last thing left i just threw it away
i put my faith in god and my trust in you
now there’s nothing more fucked up i could do
wish there was something real wish there was something true
wish there was something real in this world full of you
i’m the one without a soul i’m the one with this big fucking hole
no new tale to tell twenty-six years on my way to hell
gotta listen to your big time hard line bad luck fist fuck
don’t think you’re having all the fun
you know me i hate everyone
wish there was something real wish there was something true
wish there was something real in this world full of you
i want to but i can’t turn back
but i want to

…through which we look at the hidden thoughts buried in our soul.”  Not sure who wrote that but I like it.

I’m sitting in my backyard listening to the sounds of crickets nearby and dogs in the distance.  If I really pay attention, the hum of cars driving by on the tollway catches my attention.

My feet are kicked up in relaxation mode.  The cool breeze is slowly hitting my face and causing my hair to sway with it.  As I look up at the sky I am saddened that I did not choose a clear night to appreciate this breeze. 

What I can see is the northern star shining bright as the clouds slowly move over it.  I have spent many hours gazing up at the moving clouds.

Many thoughts go through my mind as I do this. 

Are my parents looking down at me as I look up? 

Is someone that misses me the same as I miss them looking up at the same time thinking of me?  A lost friend, a loved one, a family member, even a pet that I had to give up for one reason or another.

I find it funny that someone as freaked out about bugs can completely forget about their existance  when the calming movement of the clouds, stars, and moon takes over.

What I find even funnier is that I’ve never met someone that can spend as much time staring up at the sky as I do.  I’ve never been fortunate enough to share more than a brief moment with someone before the gaze was forced to be broken.

Maybe one day.

Sadly, I have a tendency to dream as much awake as I do while I’m asleep, so maybe this wish will will remain just remain a dream forever.

…from the book your soul is writing.”

I’ve decided to create this category to vent my frustrations on the web, rather than to everyone around me whether they want to hear my opinion or not. By reading this blog, you acknowledge that this is a RANT, pure and simple. There is nothing more to it. You also acknowledge that you will not hold these rants against me. Deal?

More to come….for starters…
People who leave their OPEN sign on after they are obviously closed. WTF!

Blue Moon tonight!  On the last day of the year, and the end of a decade.  How awesome is that!!!

From http://spaceweather.com/

Tonight’s full Moon is a “Blue Moon.” It’s the second full Moon this month and the first Blue Moon to fall on New Year’s Eve in nearly 20 years. Sounds like a rare excuse for a party…

There’s more. In Europe, Africa and Asia, the Blue Moon will dip into Earth’s shadow for a partial lunar eclipse. At maximum eclipse, around 19:24 Universal Time, approximately 8% of the Moon will be darkly shadowed: animated preview.

Above: A similar eclipse in 2006. Credit: John Stetson. [more]

Blue Moons are rare (once every 2.5 years). Blue Moons on New Year’s Eve are rarer still (once every 19 years). How rare is a lunar eclipse of a Blue Moon on New Year’s Eve?

A search of NASA’s Five Millennium Catalogue of Lunar Eclipses provides an approximate answer. In the next 1000 years, Blue Moons on New Year’s Eve will be eclipsed only 11 times (once every 91 years). A year of special note is 2848 when there will be two lunar eclipses in December–on Dec. 1st and Dec. 31st. Such a double-Blue Moon-lunar eclipse ending on New Year’s Eve appears to be a millennium-level event. That’s rare.

Go outside and enjoy the moonlight!